Poking Fun at the Princesses

  • Disenchanted: Bitches of the Kingdom

    March 09, 2012

    Posted By: Joey Panek

    It's been a good week for the Golden Apple Dinner Theatre.  

    First of all, they've brought back their fan favorite from last fall, Disenchanted: Bitches of the Kingdom.  The show's creators describe it as what happens when "the original storybook princesses comically kvetch about the exploitation they've suffered in today's animated films, theme parks and pop culture. Snow White and her band of angry royal cohorts have put together a riotous evening of song and dance that proves that happ'ly ever after ain't all it's cracked up to be!"


    But what's been so great for the Apple is their timing.  Lindsay Lohan hosted Saturday Night Live last week in what was an overall disaster, however the highlight of the show was a big hit online this whole week...  The Real Housewives of Disney.   Take a look!


    So the Disney princesses have been the butt of some jokes this week.  And it looks like they'll continue to be, at least until the show closes in Sarasota on March 25th.  (In a recent article, it was reported that the creators of the show are in talks for an Off-Broadway production.)

    So I thought it would be fun to meet the princesses of this production and find out what's eating them in Disenchanted.


    Played by Mari Bryan.

    Cinderella's gripe:  In her attempts to keep fit and trim for the Prince, she finds herself more than hungry.

    Mari's Favorite Line:  "Flounder? He's your BEST FRIEND." (In response to the little Mermaid talking about eating fish and specifically Flounder)

    Snow White


    Played by Jenn Baker.

    Snow White's Gripe:  She's bored, depressed, and so over whistling a happy tune.

    Jenn's Favorite Line:   “Look at me -- Do I look like I need to wait for my prince to come?”

    Sleeping Beauty 


    Played by Alex Torres.

    Sleeping Beauty's gripe:  That the Disney movie camera subtracted 70 pounds.

    Alex's Favorite Line:  "Just one more prick that makes me bleed."



    Played by Helen Holliday.

    Rapunzel's gripe:  She makes “Not Vone Red Cent” from all the merchandise sold with her face on it.

    Helen's Favorite Line:   “Unt I’ve seen my face most every place I’m on Pampers near the baby’s crotch!”



    Played by Jenn Abreu.

    Mulan's gripe:  She's misunderstood and confused all at the same time. Deeply questions why she was the only princess that didn't get the guy in the end.

    Jenn's Favorite Line:  "Let's all be lesbians!!"

    Tiana, The Frog Princess


    Played by Ariel Blue.

    Tiana's gripe:  It's taken Disney seventy years to get a black princess.

    Ariel's Favorite Line:  "Why'd it take them so long to give a sista a song?"

    Ariel, The Little Mermaid


    Played by Hilary Kraus.

    Ariel's Gripe:  She gave up the ocean for a boy, and two legs that aren't all they are cracked up to be.

    Hilary's Favorite Line: "All I want to do is eat... My friend Flounder... EAT SUSHI!!"



    Played by Aileen Suseck.

    Pocahantas' gripe:  Sexploitation by Disney

    Aileen's Favorite Line: "I look like Ru Paul's long lost heir”


    Played by Ellie Pattison.

    Belle's gripe: She's really ticked off that EVERYTHING talks to her.

    Ellie's Favorite Line: "...shacked up with some filthy, grubby, hairy, mangey brute.”

    Secondary Princesses (Tinker Bell, Jasmine, etc.)


    Played by Roberta MacDonald.

    Princesses' gripe:  Second billing.

    Roberta's Favorite Line:  “I’m the perfect example of women with brains exploited for their physique.”

    (Photos by Cliff Roles. Provided by The Golden Apple.)

    To catch the show before it closes on Mar. 25th, get your tickets at thegoldenapple.com/ or call 941.366.5454.   

    ----Joey Panek


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